Monday, December 26, 2005

Flights of fancy

If you're a curious type like I am, Gentle Readers, you may have found yourself wondering why George W. Bush spend those seven minutes sitting on his ass in that 2nd grade classroom in Sarasota, Florida, listening to an uninspired reading of "My Pet Goat" while our country was being attacked on September 11, 2001.

If you have thought about it even cursorily, you may have found yourself wondering why the hell the Secret Service didn't just grab his ass, frog-march him out of there and wisk him off to one of those undisclosed locations they have all over the damn place. Dick Cheney was apparently bum-rushed to his bunker so fast he lost his toupee, and he's only the Vice President. Surely, the President deserves some kind of priority in the security department? Remember the video of Reagan getting shot at? Boy, howdy, the Secret Service dog-piled him in a heartbeat and then basically threw him into his limo and peeled out. Those guys have some reflexes. So where were their reflexes on Sept 11?

The Sarasota Herald Tribune reported (Sept 10, 2002) that a Secret Service agent in the President’s detail said - after word was passed that the second tower had been struck by a plane - “We’re out of here.” But grabbing the president and splitting isn’t what actually happened. What happened is that Andy Card, Bush’s then chief of staff, entered the classroom, whispered in George’s ear and the Prez then went into a state of shock and sat there for seven solid minutes, frozen like a pre-Thanksgiving turkey. Watch that tape, if you don’t believe me.

A lot of damage can happen in seven minutes, folks, while the sorry fact is that the President’s party didn’t even leave the school for thirty whole minutes. That’s longer than the flight time for a Russian ICBM from Siberia to Miami, so this entire affair stinks like leftover gefilte fish, if you ask me. It’s a pretty well established fact that the Secret Service has as its highest priority the protection of the life of the President of the United States, and they are under orders not to wait for orders when the gravy turns to shit. They just move.

But on this fine day, with the FAA reporting as many as 11 hijacked aircraft in the skies over America, the Secret Service just milled around out in the corridor, like turkeys waiting for the block. Come on, what a crock. Somebody should have done something. But then again, maybe not, if the intention is to not save the President's life. Maybe somebody’s intention was a little darker than just wasting two New York skyscrapers and 3,000 stockbrokers. Maybe the Prez was meant to go down on September 11, too, but somebody bungled his part of the operation.

And I’m not talking about Osama’s boys putting the hatchet to Bush’s neck; nope, I’m talking about somebody with enough juice to tell the Secret Service to ignore their standing orders and back off while the president sits there vulnerable to a jumbo jet falling out of the sky. Have you ever considered that? No? Well, do. And then ask yourself, what is the order of presidential succession?

Scary, huh? The hell of it is, though - when you think about it - it all makes sense. The man with the most to gain from all of this terrorist hokum is the chief global hegemonist himself - dark ruler of cabals from Watergate to Nicaragua to Iraq and then back again to Iraq - Richard “Dick” Cheney. Yup.

But, but ... you stammer, George was pals with all those Saudi guys, hell, he even holds hands with them! The Sauds have been financial partners with the Bush family forever! Why would a bunch of Saudis want to help off their buddy George? Well, folks, besides the fact that the Smirker is an expendable poophead in any case – and good ridance - there are two (2) more Bush brothers (Marvin and Jeb), and one of them – Jeb - actually has some brains, not to mention being in politics, what with him being the governor of the state of Florida and all. Ho, ho, makes you think, doesn’t it? And guess who used to run the company that manages the security for the World Trade Center? Right -  Marvin Bush!

And if you still think that the object that hit the Pentagon was a Boeing 757, then I’ve got a war in Iraq to sell you.

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